Adult toys — they’re a fact of life. While most people don’t want to admit it, we need variety in our sex lives.
At some point or another, almost everybody is going to want to shake things up. Sex toys are one of the quickest, most reliable, most varied ways to shake up your sex life.
But not all adult toys are created equal. In fact, many adult toys are much stranger than others.
If you’re looking to get weird, you’ve come to the right place. This article will walk you through six strange toys that you won’t believe unless you put your eyes on them yourself.
1. Edible Underpants
This certainly isn’t the wildest and out-there choice on this list, but we figured we’d ease you into it in the beginning. While many people have heard of edible underpants, it’s tough to understand exactly how they work until you’ve seen them.
Most types of edible underpants are for women to wear. The skimpy quality of women’s underpants makes it easier to design a piece of candy clothing for women. Most of them are made from many small candies, strung together to take on the appearance and function of underwear.
Who Is This For?
Truly anybody can use candy underwear to their sexual advantage.
A kinky couple could see the dom “making” the sub wear them under her clothes during a formal event, only for him to eat them off later. Candy underwear can be a great item for an exhibitionist to wear to a sex party — or just a naughty-themed Halloween party. Even a couple that considers themselves less kinky can enjoy the sexy feeling of eating something off of their partner.
2. Horse Dildos
Hold your horses’ folks, because horse dildos are also more common than one might think. The horse dildo is exactly what the name implies; a dildo designed to simulate the look, size, and feel of a horse’s penis.
Now, this kind of sex toy certainly isn’t for everyone — but you’d be surprised at its popularity. It’s a dirty, dirty, dirty world out there, and the internet has only made it dirtier. People who used to have kinks that they were afraid to explore are now able to chat with people similar to them who encourage them and give them many new ideas.
The horse fetish is one of the many outcomes of this internet effect. Internet communities — like the furries — sexualize themselves as incarnations of various animals. It’s not about actually wanting to have sex with animals, but about finding certain features that animals and humans share sexually attractive.
Most people who are into animal play are more devoted to the crosses between animals and human beings than they are to the actual animals themselves. However, animal sex toys help them better get into character, and enjoy their moments of pleasure as their animal-selves.
Who is this For?
This is mainly for people who are into the kinks that involve the virility and aesthetics of various animals. People involved in the Furr community with strong ties to the internet will find this to their liking.
However, this can also be used for a more straightforward kink. It’s tough to find standard-looking dildos that are this long since penises just don’t come this long in real life.
The horse dildo could be a great option for anyone looking to engage in play that involves humiliation and the testing of limits. A standard sub could be into the idea of taking anything their dom tells them. In this case, someone who’s not particularly into horseplay can make use of a horse dildo.
3. Kink Master Apron
The Kink Master Apron is one of those sex toys that you have to see to believe — but it makes a strange amount of sense.
The Kink Master Apron is a very simple concept: An apron that has a flap cut out for the penis. The flap can remain up or down, depending on the situation.
The chef is the master of the kitchen, and some people might just find that level of power sexy. Jezebel even published an article eight years ago on the sexiness of Chef Ramsey’s outbursts.
But all kitchen nightmares aside, this is the best adult toy for people who are eager to bottom for the top chef. Combine it with a chef’s hat and a naughty spatula (for spanking) and you have all you need for a chef fantasy.
Cooking naked is never a great idea. The presence of hot pots, pans, and burning oil makes it an extremely dangerous endeavor. The Kink Master Apron is a working apron that allows you to cook all of your delicious meals while still maintaining easy access.
Who Is This For?
This is great for anyone with a kitchen/chef fetish. It doesn’t get much better than this when it comes to three-star hijinx.
However, it could also be useful to any dominant/submissive couple that’s looking to try something different. If you’ve already tried cop/criminal, king/servant, doctor/patients, boss/secretary, teacher/student, manager/ employee, team captain/players, and superhero/sidekick, why not try chef/sous chef?
Even if you’re not looking to get kinky in the kitchen, this apron could be great for any sort of messy play. If you’re having sex that involves a large number of bodily fluids, this apron could have an extremely ergonomic use. The Kink Master Apron allows you to get creative with your sexual solutions.
Think about a situation that involves squirting. You’re most likely not going to want to get drenched, but at the same time, you’re also going to want to continue having sex as soon as possible. The Kink Master Apron is a wonderful option for anyone who wants to stay clean while they get dirty.
It’s also a great gag Halloween costume!
4. Shower Suction Handles
While in possession of what is potentially the scariest name on this list, shower suction handles have a pretty tame and ergonomic use.
Sex in the shower — it’s a fan favorite. Many people like the erotic nature of bathing, and how it naturally leads to sex.
However, one of the biggest problems with shower sex is the lack of variety. Unless you have a giant shower, your options are pretty limited. (Bend against this wall, bend against that wall, turn around, that’s about it.)
The shower suction handles — most of which are manufactured by a brand whose name is quite literally “Sex In the Shower” — introduce an element of variety into your shower-sex-life. There are grips for your hands to grab onto for better traction, and footrests for easier access.
The “Sex in the Shower” products mitigate a lot of the risk of slipping during shower sex, by providing you an option of something to grab onto. There’s also something extremely primal about grabbing something, which gets lost a lot of the time during shower sex.
Who Is This For?
People who are into shower sex! If you have shower sex often, you’re increasing the risk that you’re going to run out of options. In the bedroom at the very least, you have the benefit of space, scenery, props, and unfettered communication (the shower is loud so communicating is a bit harder).
Introducing a product that helps you have sex in the shower will vary your sex up. Perhaps you could buy several and set them up at different heights to heighten the level of variety.
This could also be great for couples who have a bit of sexual disagreement. If one partner enjoys shower sex and the other doesn’t talk to them about getting a shower suction handle to help enhance the experience.
5. Golden Whip Necklace
The Golden Whip Necklace — from Unbound Babes is one of the most unique and neat sex toys out there. This one is a must-see-to-believe since it masquerades so well as a real necklace.
The Golden Whip Necklace is a metal whip used for bondage-submission play. It can also be worn as a — rather fancy-looking — necklace. This is a great female sex toy, that will surely turn on anyone wearing it due to its naughtiness and discretion.
Reviewers have noted that it combines playful with classy. The people who enjoy it the most take a lot of pleasure in the fact that others don’t know what it is at first glance. Whether they flaunt this fact or keep it to themselves is up to them.
Who Is This For?
The market for hits product is kinky couples who want to get a little daring and adventurous with their kinks. One could easily imagine a dominant man and submissive woman going to a party in public while the woman wears the necklace that she’s later going to be flogged with. This subtle flaunting of sexuality will keep the man and woman going all night, while not alerting any of the other partygoers.
You can also see this as a good product for an adventurous woman looking to have a one-night stand with a kinky guy or girl. Obviously, you can’t take a whip to the club with you, but if you disguise it as a necklace, you can make sure that if you meet the right person, they will have all that they need to get the job done.
This is also a very good option for exhibitionists. Showing your sexuality off in public can be a great thrill, even if you’re not planning on using it that night.
6. The Whizzinator
The other nine on this list have been crazy, but this one is really bonkers. The whizzinator is a sex toy designed by Massive Dynamics, who boast that they’ve “been a trusted and reliable manufacturer and retailer of wet sex urinating devices for almost 20 years.” In case you didn’t catch the drift — it’s a pissing toy.
You’re not going to believe it until you see it, folks.
The whizzinator is somewhat of a complicated contraption, equipped with a prosthetic dildo that simulates the look and feel of a flaccid penis. It contains a four-ounce reservoir, adjustable strap, and reassemble fill pump.
However, it gets stranger than that.
The whizzinator comes with a synthetic liquid that simulates the PH, gravity, color, and smell of real human urine. You’d truly have to be a piss expert to tell the difference between the whizzinator’s synthetic liquid and real human pee.
Who Is This For?
Well, for one, people with pee fetishes. While watersports are extremely taboo, they’re a lot more common than most people would like to admit. One British survey had them come out at number nine in the list of top ten most popular fetishes.
If we were to hazard a guess, the whizzinator is most likely for women who want to urinate on their partners or people who want the experience of being peed on while alone. Also, if someone likes everything about the mechanics of a piss fetish, but doesn’t enjoy the thought of getting the actual stuff on them, this is the best option for them.
The whizzinator certainly is strange; people without a piss fetish might even be grossed turned off concept. One should take note, however, that its customers hold this product in high regard. The manufacturer is trusted in their field, it truly seems like they’re the best at what they do.
While it’s certainly strange, the whizzinator is one of the perfect sex prosthetics for anyone with the right proclivities.
Know the Best Sex Toys
There’s only so much normality a person can take. Every once in a while, everybody wants to take a walk on the wild side. If you’re looking to get a little weird with things — or already consider yourself a freak — check out these strange adult toys.
For more articles like this one, check out our miscellaneous section.